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New Year’s Resolutions of Non-Resolvatude

January 1, 2011

New Year’s Resolutions don’t work for me. In fact, due to my rebellious nature, they tend to backfire. So, this year I am taking a whole new approach. Instead of avoiding making resolutions altogether, I am going to outsmart the system. (Come see the violence inherent in our system! Help! Help! I’m being repressed!)

Here are my New Year’s Resolutions of Non-Resolvatude

  1. I will NOT keep up on my blogging. Certainly not several times a week. In fact, I resolve to post LESS than once a week.
  2. I resolve to NEVER finish Tome of Destiny, or any other book for that matter. I can’t be bothered to finish plotting out The Dray either. And I am determined, in the year 2011, to avoid any and all short story completions.
  3. I resolve to procrastinate in my procrastination. Wait, a double negative leads to proof positive, doesn’t it?
  4. It is my resolution to ALWAYS write LESS than 500 words a day, especially on the bad days. On the weekends, I will NEVER write more than 500 words. At all costs, I will NOT write 1000 words on my days off!
  5. I am 100% resolved to NOT finish any book reviews on here. Certainly not the Night’s Cold Kiss one I’ve been working on all year and definitely not Death’s Sweet Embrace when I finally get my hands on it in a few weeks.
  6. I resolve to thumb my nose at deadlines.
  7. And, no matter what, I resolve to NEVER start the Zombie Apocalypse.
  8. Oh, and this one I truly do mean, I resolve to spend more time with other people’s children so I am never tempted to have ones of my own. I mean, do you have any idea how much of your time those things take up? If I had kids, I’d actually have to buckle down and stick to a schedule. The cats would never speak to me again either.
  9. Speaking of cats, in the year 2011, I am firmly resolved to NOT rescue another stray. I will avoid the pathetic little faces in the cages at PETCO and go about my merry way, never bringing home another cat who desperately needs a home.

Okay, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way and already broken my #1 resolution, let’s see what other trouble I can get in to. Feel free to leave a comment with YOUR Resolutions of Non-Resolvatude. Maybe together we can actually prevent a full-scale rebellion of activity and sit around watching our lives pass us by.


3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 1, 2011 2:46 pm

    Wait a minute…how exactly would you start a Zombie Apocalypse in the first place? Do you have nanobots or something I need to know about? *looks around cyberspace* HELP!

  2. January 2, 2011 8:25 am

    ugh, morning. I resolve never to make myself a cup of coffee this lousy again. That’s as far as I’m going.

  3. May 22, 2011 9:44 pm

    That’s it!

    And what I mean by “that’s it” is this. When people tell me to make a list, you know, to finish up all those pesky things I keep forgetting, I am compelled to tell them:

    Lists are where the things I need to do go to die.

    Seriously, if it’s on a list, I will get everything BUT that thing done. Everything. This is avoidance at it’s finest. I’m pleased to meet a fellow, um, freedom fighter. 😉


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